ordinary / self motivation thing

the thing is.. I really should study.. I really should at least try to learn something..

But I just can't.

And I feel terrible about it.. and usually weak for not being able to do it.. what's wrong with me..
I thought I'd gone through all this semi-adolescent fears and questioning of myself and the world.. but I haven't.

and that's just it.. I feel like going to Venice or Liverpool or Paris or wherever.. some place I can probably hide myself behind some cool thing I'm doing..

well.. I just am wasting my life with stupid things... like being alone and feeling miserable for no good reason..

so.. let's wake up, pick the pages up and just get yourself through it..


PS - I've gone back to feeling unsure about who I am and what I want.. it feels so stupid not to know what I want and just feeling scared of the big world around, when a few months ago I felt ready to conquer it..